Built for IPOs and Implosions.

50g Protein. 300mg Caffeine. 6mg Nicotine. 200mg Testosterone. 20mg Adderall IR. 15mg Creatine. No Carbs. No Cowards.

NO SLEEP // NO MERCY // NO HR DEPARTMENT // ONLY OUTPUT // NO SLEEP // NO MERCY // NO HR DEPARTMENT // ONLY OUTPUT // NO SLEEP // NO MERCY // NO HR DEPARTMENT // ONLY OUTPUT // NO SLEEP // NO MERCY // NO HR DEPARTMENT // ONLY OUTPUT // NO SLEEP // NO MERCY // NO HR DEPARTMENT // ONLY OUTPUT //

PRODUCT SPECS

PERFORMANCE BLEND

Hover to reveal the formula that VCs don't want you to know about

INGREDIENT BREAKDOWN

Whey Isolate: 50g of pure gains

Caffeine: 300mg of sleep prevention

Nicotine: 6mg of focus enhancement

Testosterone: 200mg of alpha energy

Adderall IR: 20mg of ship-it mentality

Creatine: 15mg of muscle-building power

BENEFITS

Raises testosterone + your valuation
Pumps you up + your CAC
Improves memory + investor recall
Eliminates sleep + competition
Boosts focus + term sheet terms

THE ORIGIN STORY

Chad, Founder & Managing Partner of Nothing

TECH BRO BAR was created after a third failed IPO, two heart attacks, and one ayahuasca retreat in Menlo Park.

Our founder realized that the market needed a performance enhancer that matched the intensity of a Series C funding round. Something that could fuel 96-hour coding sprints and back-to-back pitch meetings without the inconvenience of basic human needs.

"I don't believe in work-life balance. I believe in work-work balance."

~ Chad, Founder & Managing Partner of Nothing

INGREDIENTS BREAKDOWN

WHEY

Protein. Just protein.

CAFFEINE

Because sleep is for the weak.

NICOTINE

Because gum is for interns.

TESTOSTERONE

For alpha energy and term sheet dominance.

ADDERALL IR

Ship it mentality in pill form.

CREATINE

For pumping iron and pumping valuations.

FREQUENTLY AVOIDED QUESTIONS

INVEST IN DISRUPTION

Join our cap table for the world's most intense protein bar.
Limited allocation available. 100x returns or cardiac arrest.